Why do you go away?
So that you can come back.
So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours.
And the people there see you differently, too.
Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.
Every-time I come back to this stretch of land that owns me… (yes! how much I would like to say arrogantly that I own this view but the truth is that it owns me.) There are always new experiences awaiting. Have never felt so vulnerable as I feel here every single day of my life. Even though it’s been a decade staying away from my parents’ home; living in hostels, adjusting with different kinds of people; it’s been the most challenging here. Layer by layer the masks of my personality are peeled off… and it’s painful; very painful. Because every face that’s put on, any support that is sought, every crutch that’s held is taken away… Am forced to walk on that thin rope, suspended in the air all by myself and I had some pretty bad falls. But then am picked up and put back and asked to continue the walk on the rope again . Am amazed that am still alive and kicking.
And what do I see when I look down the rope? A bottomless abyss, a hollow space behind, an empty space above and the rope running to infinity. Do I have a choice but keep going forwards…? And then just when i assumed that i have got the trick of keeping the balance and moving forwards; then a tempest comes. It swallows up everything in sight. Now where do I run and hide from it.
I closed my eyes very tightly and thought that it will disappear but it’s coming; it’s coming right at me. i feel it’s easier to jump off in that abyss than to face this tempest. But i didn’t jump off the rope this time; i simply gave in; when it came, i walked right into it. I got swirled around, was thrown up & down; torn apart and then thrown at the centre. It was so blank that i thought i ceased to exist. The centre was so still and silent. I stayed there quietly waiting for the other end of the tempest to pass through me.
I opened my eyes and there was no tempest.